I don't
remember how old I was, only that I was very small. I lived in Nevada City, in
northern California with my parents. People who live very close to what is known as a
tourist attraction seldom see them . We were getting ready to move to the southern part of the state, and my parents wanted to visit
the Sequoia Forrest one more time.
We walked the
ancient forest of giant trees. At some point, my parents stopped to admire a
particularly large tree, and I kept walking. Suddenly I just stopped. There was
no sound. I don't mean that it was still or very quiet, but that there was no
sound. No birds chirped, no leaves rustled, no car sounds; just absolute
silence. I was too little to say what I felt, but I remember. What I felt that
day was reverence. I felt awe. I felt what Moses must have felt at the Burning
Bush. I felt the presence of God.
I remember my
parents coming to me and asking what was wrong. Evidently I was just standing
there sobbing. I could only tell them that I heard God.
Life happened.
My parents divorced. My mom died. I was sent to live with relatives in
Pennsylvania. I survived many troubled years. I married and had children. I
divorced, and stood beside a bed as my youngest child died. I entered a dark
place; a place that I pray that those that I love never see. I came out of that
place to a new life where there was and continues to be light and goodness.
For
reasons that I have never even tried to understand, I have been compelled to
search the scriptures. I have discovered my quiet place, and am even more sure
that I stood in the presence of God.
Elijah had
just stood and with the help of God, prevailed against the priests of Baal, but
he was still afraid and confused. An angel sent him to a high place and told him to wait, that
the Lord was about to pass by. He went and stood on the mountain and there a
mighty wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and rocks, but the Lord
wasn't in the wind. Then there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the
earthquake. Then there was a fire, but the Lord wasn't in the fire. Then it
says, "and after the fire a sound of sheer silence. When Elijah heard it,
he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the
cave. Then there came a voice to him that said, "What are you doing here,
Elijah?""(I Kings 19:11 - 13 - The New Oxford Annotated Bible with the Apocrypha-Augmented
Third Edition)
Some time
later, I read Habakkuk, and again, found the silence. Habakkuk was a Hebrew
prophet who is believed to have lived in the late part of the seventh century,
BC. The first two chapters of Habakkuk could have been copied from this
morning's newspaper. He talks about cities and nations who destroy without
mercy. He talks about those who `load yourselves with goods taken in Pledge' (folks drowning in debt?),
and "Will not your own creditors suddenly rise and those who make you tremble
wake up?" (Foreclosures? Repossession? Bankruptcy?)
After telling his people what they are bringing on themselves,
he just stops and says, "But the Lord is in His Holy Temple; let all the
earth keep silence before Him!" (Habakkuk 2:20)
No sermon here
today, just a little comment on the first time I knew that there was truly a
God, in the silence of an ancient forest. The real joy has been learning to
bring that silent place to my own soul.
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