Friends and Friends

 

TO COMMUNICATE, LISTEN

 

Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place…For they had made an appointment together to come and mourn with him, and to comfort him. And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven. So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.

JOB 2:11-13

 

            Job’s friends wanted to help. They felt his pain and were horrified to see a friend in such need. Mercifully, they kept their mouths shut for one whole week. They sat with their friend and listened.

            These friends realized an important truth: people don’t lose intimacy when they stop talking, but when they stop listening. Leaders seldom realize how much their listening empowers the other person. Because they are leaders, the sheer act of listening speaks volumes that even a great speech can’t communicate.  (Maxwell Leadership Bible)

 

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Two thoughts.

 

In Jewish tradition, when there is a death - a devastating loss, friends come to the house of the person or family who has been wounded, and they 'Sit Shiva'. For a week, the person who has experienced the loss is not expected to do anything but grieve. Their friends feed them, sit with them, and talk with them. It's a safe place to remember stories about the person who has passed away. It's a way to remember in a loving environment. It's a way of the community coming together to say, "You are not alone. We are here with you and we are here for you."

 

In the story in Job, his friends came and 'sat Shiva' for a week. They were just there for him; they listened to him. They were silent - but then  they opened their mouths and undid all the good that they had done that first week.

 

Instead of bolstering the wounded man, they poured salt into his emotional wounds. Instead of reminding him of the good and loving God that he had always served, they gave him doubt. They gave him fear. Even his own wife said, "Curse God and die." or 'just get this over with!'

 

But Job was a man who loved God. He didn't understand all the evil that had fallen on him. He didn't understand all the pain that came with the losses, but he knew one truth at the core of his soul. He knew that he served a God who was good and who loved him. He trusted the Almighty to BE the Almighty.

 

God was ready to destroy the friends who had further wounded the soul of their friend Job by their words and doubt, but Job begged for God's mercy, and it was given.

 

For a season, Job suffered, but he never turned from God. He never denied God. He never stopped loving God, and he never stopped serving God.

 

In the final verses of Job -

 

^"12 Now the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning; for he had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, one thousand yoke of oxen, and one thousand female donkeys. ¹³ He also had seven sons and three daughters. ¹⁴ And he called the name of the first Jemimah, the name of the second Keziah, and the name of the third Keren-Happuch. ¹⁵ In all the land were found no women so beautiful as the daughters of Job; and their father gave them an inheritance among their brothers.

¹⁶ After this Job lived one hundred and forty years, and saw his children and grandchildren for four generations. ¹⁷ So Job died, old and full of days." (New King James)

Today I believe that it's okay to mourn for a season. It's good if your friends will be there for you and to listen to you, but it's not okay to pour salt into your spiritual wounds.

But in the end, there is one Friend who will always be there and who will never fail you. Somehow, in the face of great evil and terrible sadness, I believe that my God is still with me. I believe that He will never leave me. I believe that He loves me, and I believe that somehow, He will restore me. In the face of ugliness that tells me otherwise, I believe in a good God who holds me close to His heart. I  believe in a God who never walks away.