There was a fable. I don’t know when I first heard it, but I remember the
story.
In a land far away, in a time long ago, plague came and it killed. First the
youngest and oldest; the most vulnerable, then it struck the strong and
healthy. The woman thought she would die when her baby stopped suckling and his
skin grew hotter and hotter. He didn’t cry, and finally his little chest
stopped moving. She thought she would die when his older brother stopped
running and jumping, and just laid down one day and never got up. Then her
strong handsome virile husband lay beside her in their bed, holding her, his
warmth comforting her, but in the morning, it was death that lay beside her.
She left the house that had been her home. She tore her clothing, she wouldn’t
eat, she wouldn’t bathe, she lay in the streets of the damned, but God wouldn’t
let her die.
She stood up one day and made her way out of the town on to the highways
leading to places she didn’t know. Her mind came and went, and she longed for
the day that it would go and never come back.
The old woman sat beside a shack on the side of the road and watched her. The
younger woman drank from the trough meant for the horses, wiped her hand across
her nose, and saw the older woman starring at her.
“What do you want from me? Why are you starring at me?”
The ancient woman looked at the younger woman. Though her hair was white, and
her skin as lined as creased leather, her smile was like a welcoming friend,
and her eyes were as clear and soft as a summer morning. “I’m looking at pain;
at pain too deep for such a beautiful young woman. I’m looking at a soul
drowning; in danger of never finding the surface.”
She flashed her eyes on the crone, ready to shout obscenities, to bash the old
woman’s face, but instead, she heard her voice telling the old woman about the
plague. She heard her own voice sobbing as she told the woman about watching
her newborn baby die at her breast. She felt the old woman touch her hand as
she spoke about seeing life seep out of her happy healthy six year old
son. She felt the old woman hold her in her arms as she cried about the last
night in her husband’s arms. She heard the old woman whisper, “There, there
child. Let the sorrow go. Let all the pain out. There’s a time to grieve. Cry
as long as you need. I’m here.”
“Old mother, what do I do? I can’t live like this.” She looked into the old
woman’s eyes and saw a thing that came from before there was knowing, from the
beginnings of time itself.
“If you could have anything that you wanted, what would you ask?” She saw the
wrong answer forming in the younger woman’s heart.
“I would restore my children; my husband. I would go back before the sickness.
I would have everything again.” She saw the old woman shake her head from side
to side.
“No child. Before your family, what would you want if anything was possible?
What did you want from life? Before you met your husband, what was the dream in
your soul?”
Now anger filled the young woman. “I wanted what I had! I wanted a home. I
wanted a family. I wanted someone who would love me as much as I loved them. I
had all that! I want it back. That has been my dream for all of my life.” Anger and sorrow
melted into an emotion that had substance, and struck at the old woman. “Can
you restore my dream? Can you give me those things? Oh course not, so don’t
torture me with hope.”
The old woman smiled back at the rage, “Actually, I can return the dream to
you.” Her mouth softened into a gentle smile. “There’s a potion.”
A fragment of something caught the young
widow. “A potion?”
“Yes, a very simple potion.” She touched the young woman’s hand. “If you can
bring me just one ingredient, I can restore your dream.”
Her eyes stared in wonder. The woman continued. “Though the ingredient is
simple, it’s not easily found. Are you willing to search?” The younger woman
nodded wildly. “Are you willing to endure hardship, disappointment?”
She
clawed at the old woman's hands. "Yes! Oh please, what must I do?"
She
took the young woman's face in her hands, "You must go to a home that has
never known sorrow, never shed a tear of pain. In that home, find one piece of
dust, and bring it to me. We will make the potion, and your dreams will be
restored."
The
younger woman leaped to her feet and laughed out loud, "I will go now!
Such a simple thing. I will return to you this very evening!" She embraced
the old woman and kissed her cheek.
"Child,
it might take longer than a day. Remember, just any piece of dust won't do. It
must be from the home that has not known sorrow, and that home only." The
young woman ran out the door, filled with joy and hope for the first time in a
very long time. The older woman smiled softly. "Prepare for a long journey
child."
She
raced past all the hovels of the poor, past those who lived on the fringes of
the city, and went straight to the palace of the king. She was sure that his
great wealth had kept sorrow far from his door. She pounded on the gate until a
weeping servant answered. "What do you want?"
"I
have come to see the king. Why are you weeping? There can’t be sorrow in
these great walls."
The
servant answered, "Our queen fell from her horse and is dying. What will
we all do without our mistress? What will His Majesty do without his beloved?” She fell to the ground weeping, and the young
woman rushed past her.
The
mistress can't die, she thought. If she dies, this will be a home filled with
sorrow. She made her way past the guards and servants, and ran to the
bedchamber of the dying queen.
The
heavy drapes were pulled closed, the windows closed, and the chief physician
was setting leeches on her arms to drain off the poisons in her body.
Immediately,
the young woman saw what they were doing wrong. "You fools! You are
killing her!" She tore open the drapes, flung open the windows, and began
slowly and carefully removing the leeches. She began shouting orders to the
stunned servants.
"Bring
me clean bedding! Bring clean sheets! Bring clean water and rags to purge her
wound!"
The
queen drifted in and out of consciousness until one day, the fever was gone.
She said she was hungry. The king begged the woman to stay and tend
his wife until she was completely well. Many months later, the young woman left
the palace with warm embraces from the restored queen and her grateful husband. She was happy to see the
family so filled with joy, but she knew that this home had known great sorrow,
and was therefore tainted in her quest.
As
she traveled the road, she found a family, only to find that the father
had died, and that the mother had no money to feed them. She stayed long enough
to teach the woman how to plant a crop, she taught the older children how to
care for the fields and harvest the millet, then she taught the mother how to
sell the grain for the highest price. She watched with great pride as the
family prepared the fields for more next
crops in the coming years. She smiled as
they filled their larder to over flowing with goods for the coming winter.
Again, she left filled with happiness for the family, but again without
untainted dust.
She
traveled the roads and highways, always searching, always helping, always
healing, and finally, forgetting.
As
she walked towards the town with a group of woman and children in tow, she saw
an old woman on the side of the road rocking a baby as it's mother stirred a
great cooking pot. She smiled and called out, "Hello! Can our family join
you for dinner?"
A
woman older than time, with leather skin, and eyes clear as a summer morning,
smiled back and beckoned her. "Of course you can join us! Is this your
family?"
The
younger woman looked at those around her, laughed and said, "Well yes, I
guess they are. Somehow, we're just adopted each other and now we travel
together looking for a place to live."
The
old woman rose to her feet and handed her the sleeping baby and bade her to sit
in the rocker. "I see you have a very large family. Do you love
them?"
"Oh
yes! They are so precious to me." she answered.
The
old woman looked at one of the women who was with her, "How do you feel
about this woman?"
"She's
become our mother. She saved us from despair, for some, even from death, and
she means everything to all of us." she said as she glanced at the woman
they followed.
The
old woman asked, "So let me see. You have a family. You love and are loved
in return. Do you have a home?"
The
younger woman smiled. "When I am with people I love, I am always
home."
The
old woman put her arms out, and the younger woman handed the baby to it's
mother as she recognized the old woman and ran into her arms. She cried happy
tears as she said, "I never did find that piece of dust."
The
older woman said, "You never really needed it. You needed time and a way
to heal, and you have done that. I think now, you and your family need a house.
You can have mine, and I can go."
"Go?
What do you mean? Where will you go?"
"Many
years ago, I left on the same quest as you. In you, my own healing is complete,
and now it's time for me to go to my own family, to my own home, and to hold my
own babies in my arms."
The
women shed tears of joy as they parted. She watched the old woman heading down
the road alone, knowing that pure happiness was waiting for her.
Suddenly
there was a scream from one of the woman in the camp. She pointed around as a
young girl staggered into their group. The old mother reached for the young
girl, "What happened child?"
"Robbers
killed my parents. I ran as fast as I could."
The
women circled the weeping child. "You're safe here."
And
another story began.
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